Marriage is a huge step, and it’s definitely not something to rush into. How can you tell if the relationship you are in is marriage material?
You know you’re ready to marry someone if you are willing to endure the Hell on Earth with that person. Seeing your significant other at their worst: they will be angry, cranky, hungry, sleepy, annoyed, childish, and pissed off. They will try and convince you that you “need” to do some things which they know you hate (which of course they love)- for instance, cook your worst meal which is probably their favorite, and you will be subjected to the sight of humanity at its fear based worst.
If you can make it out of there alive (without spending yourself stupid or killing each other), then you should probably get married. If you can go there and be so in love that you forget you’re in HELL and not be bothered by this, then by all means run like hell to the altar.
Do You Like Him/Her With Clothes On?
You can agree with me that everyone’s tons of fun when they’re naked and doing naughty things with you. And lots of sex happens when you are dating, often because you two have different homes and can get the hell away from the other, if conditions sometimes get unconducive. A relationship is one thing, marriage is different, because you’re always there with each other. Generally speaking, your spouse should be as much fun with their clothes on as they are with them off.
When you’re around this person do you feel like you hit the lottery? Do they make you giddy like a school girl? Get lots of goosebumps? Then marriage is definitely in order. If you don’t, you may not want to walk down the aisle. Romance ebbs and flows but if you’re not feeling super lucky to be with them, then it’s a red flag, abort the mission dear!.
They say relationships are hard work. That’s not true. BAD relationships are work. Good relationships aren’t. If your relationship is easy like Sunday morning, then it’s time to start thinking about walking down the aisle. People love to say relationships take work. They don’t. Relationships are like a car. I’m sure that the majority of people reading this don’t know anything about brakes, shocks, struts and all the other car parts you can’t pronounce. Does that stop you from owning and operating a car? No. You don’t need to do work on your car. You just need to do maintenance, and that’s what a relationship needs. If your relationship is easily maintained, then walk straight down to the aisle, but if it’s constantly under work, fixing and lot’s more, it means there are lots of ups & downs and it’s time to trade in for a different model!- make a u-turn.
Are You On The Same Page?
Opposites attract, but they don’t marry. If you are super frugal and your partner spends like a drunken sailor, do you really expect it to work long term? Movies always love to talk about the uptight, type A girl and the slacker/hippie type who steals her heart. That works in movies, but in real live they hook up or date but they don’t marry. Or if they do, they’re miserable. Why? Because she is who she is and he is who he is.
The more alike you are, the more you’re going to stay together, because common ground is required to build the foundation upon which the house that is your marriage is built on. The house is built on the foundation and the foundation is designed to fit the house exactly. They don’t say “well, it kind of fits, but we’ll work around it.” No construction foreman has ever looked at a foundation and said “well, I know that’s how it is now, but I’m sure it’ll change down the road.”
You’re two different people with different experiences and view points, so disagreements are inevitable, but you should be arguing because you both want to do the same thing, you just differ on how to do it. If you have the opposite problem, maybe you should just keep dating, and not marry!
Hope these few tips helped or will help someone out there?
Do have a nice weekend
*Make Love & Don’t Fight*